April eNews

Sex and Spirituality

Tom Ryan, D.Min.

Tom RyanWhere do your thoughts go when you hear the word “sex”? Think of how your sexuality informs your feelings, self-perception, relationships and your interactions with society.Then consider your vulnerabilities, frailties and the fact you live in a disordered realm. Given all that, how can you not have some challenges or difficulties with sexuality? For some of us—a growing number of us—we inadvertently cross an invisible line from sex as part of our experience to sex that is becoming compulsive.  Sex is compulsive when we feel like we’re losing some control over our thoughts or behaviors; we use sex to escape how we’re feeling or what we’re facing; we find we need more or different of whatever we are doing to maintain our interest; we’re engaging in something risky or dangerous; it’s costing us; and/or we’re hiding our behaviors from those close to us, keeping secrets. (Read more)

Baxter Kruger and Paul Young coming to JW

Baxter KrugerDr. C. Baxter Kruger, Trinitarian theologian and author of several books including The Shack Revisited and Across All Worlds will be visiting Jacob’s Well on Saturday, April 20 for a time of teaching and learning. The price is $5 at the door and all are welcome. (Read more about Dr. Kruger)

Paul YoungOn Sunday, April 21, Wm. Paul Young, Author of The Shack, will be sharing his story at all of our gatherings, 9am, 11am and 5:30pm. Paul will be joined by Baxter at the 5:30 gathering. Paul Young was born a Canadian and raised among a stone-age tribe by his missionary parents in the highlands of was New Guinea. He suffered a great loss as a child and young adult, and now enjoys the “wastefulness of grace” with his family in the Pacific Northwest.

Calendar of Events

Sunday, April 14 | Infant Baptism and Dedication | All Gatherings

Sunday, April 14 | Community Compass | 12:30pm | Commons

Saturday, April 20 | Baxter Kruger, Author and Theologian | 9am – Noon | $5 at the Door

Sunday, April 21 | Paul Young, Author of The Shack | All Gatherings

Thursday, May 2 | 7:00 pm | Women’s Forum | JW Sanctuary

Thanks for the Pancake Crew

Pancake CrewA huge thank you to the families that served us during the pancake breakfast on Easter Sunday. Matt and Amy Streeter organized the team and pulled off a great opportunity to enjoy a good meal,  get to know one another better.

Thanks to the Black, Cox, Crawford, Elliott, Mastin, Streeter, Swanberg, Wilhoit and Zorn families.

The Soggy Bottom BoysAlso a big thank you to Jon Cates of Broadway Cafe for provided the coffee! (Pictured here with Isaac Anderson and Mike Crawford aka the Soggy Bottom Boys)

We enjoyed creating the space for relationship and community!

We’ve got a few “hard to reach” lightbulbs…

Bill Pollock, our new Facilities Manager, is looking for some equipment for some current and future projects. Jacob’s Well is hoping to update our lighting in the sanctuary and are in need of some scaffolding. If you would like to help serve or have equipment that you could share, please contact Bill Pollock.

(Sex and Spirituality, cont.) Our Father is never ashamed of His children who struggle with compulsive sexual behaviors. He is never surprised at our failings. Genuine Christianity is incrementally bringing every aspect of our lives into full integration with the Gospel that we may increasingly experience and share His joy and love. We all need help. We all need God. We all need each other.

We have a remarkable and unique group of guys at Jacob’s Well who’ve recognized their own compulsive sexual behaviors and are willing to do whatever is necessary to bring this aspect of their lives into sync with following Jesus.  They are some of the bravest men I know.  If you’d like more info about our group, let’s get together and talk.  I’ll share a bit of my story, you talk about what’s on your mind and we’ll see if the Shame No More group at JW might be a good fit for you. Call me (913) 226-5217 or email me at tcryanone@gmail.com. If you have any inkling that you ought to contact me, don’t put it off.  Tom (Back to Top)

Tom and Pam Ryan have been part of the Jacob’s Well community since 2008. You can learn more about what Tom is doing at his Facebook page, T. C. Ryan. He blogs at tc-ryan.com, and infrequently tweets @tcryanone. In February, Red Letter Christians published a guest blog by Tom. He will be the featured guest on the Family Life Today radio show (Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine) on April 10 and 11.  

Ashamed No More—A pastor’s journey through sex addiction

T. C. Ryan IVP, 2012

Ashamed No MoreI wrote Ashamed No More when Pam and I realized we were finally experiencing a long-sought healing from a life of damaged living. The book tells a good bit of my story, but tells more about what I’ve learned so far about spirituality, brokenness, recovery and genuinely doing life with Jesus. We have a cultural tsunami hitting us in sexual over-saturation and the Church needs to rethink its approach to sexuality to be truly missional for this generation and especially the next.

“Though Ryan’s story can tell us a lot about the church and about addiction, its most profound message is about leadership and its connection to the human heart.” Laura Paskell-Brown, a PhD student and teacher of Developmental Psychology, and a member of the Young Leader’s Council at Women of Spirit and Faith; review in Patheos Book Club, Sept. 2012

“He frames the story in a way that makes it accessible—this is a book not only for the addict, but also the family members of addicts and the congregants of addicted pastors. If you wonder how a pastor could end up in this situation, this book explains it in convincing detail.” Stacey Schwenker, review in Sojourners, Sept-Oct 2012

“By integrating sexuality in its proper proportion within a holistic pursuit of God, Ryan offers us a chance to find healing. He does not make excuses for himself or any other addict, but rather calls us all to examination and authenticity.” Stacey Schwenker, review in Sojourners, Sept-Oct 2012

Ashamed No More can be purchased online at ivpress.com and amazon.com.